Everything has a day. May 23rd is World Turtle Day. Does that mean we should stuff our faces with gooey chocolate goodness while learning about turtles? I can take care of the second part, you’re on your own for the first.
Barn Escapes – Maldives Edition
Every once in a while, in between staring at my half full coffee cup and scraping half a cat’s worth of hair off my clothes, my mind wanders to a far off place where my worries dissolve into calm relaxation. Here’s today’s moment of escape.
A Fairview of Soccer Golf
There are some changes happening in my old neck of the woods, and if you’re so inclined you could find yourself there, especially if your kicks go astray.
Password Insanity
There was a time when the only password you had to know was the one to get into the tree fort. Sadly that time has passed us by. The demands for more and more passwords with increasing complexity seems to rise every day. Yesterday I may have hit my tipping point.
Today I Learned – May 21/14
If you want to have ridiculous dreams, leftover Chinese food right before bed will work wonders on your crazy level. If your cats won’t leave you alone while you’re eating, find a bird video on YouTube and eat distraction free. When something comes in the mail a week before it’s “supposed” to, happiness ensues. Unless it’s a bill. When buying…
Haiku – Mario Kart 8 Edition
Mario Kart 8. The reason I bought Wii U. Don’t disappoint me.
276,915 Minutes
What’s something you love? Something you enjoy doing, or something you can’t wait to take another bite of. Maybe it’s someone you love, who you can’t wait to see again. Imagine being told you can’t have that anymore.
Golf Isn’t About Skill
Sarcastic Love Letter – Door to Door Electricity Salesman
Top 10 Signs Stephen Colbert is Taking Over Your Talk Show
10. Your stage curtains are now giant American flags.
Life Is What You Make It
You want to laugh and feel motivated and good about the world today? Take five minutes to watch Zach Anner, someone taking a negative (having cerebral palsy) and turning it into a laser-guided comedy missile of “Guess what? I’m gonna USE this for everyone’s benefit and enjoyment! Including my own!” Seriously, if Zach can have this much fun considering his circumstances, maybe that…
Stop Everything – Sports Are On
I love sports. This comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me, or anyone who’s clicked around the site at all. There are however a few sporting events that take more precedence than others. Competitions that cause everything else in life to take a back seat, or at best a side car to something that at the end of…
Name That Tune
#namethattune #tastycanadianguitarlick A post shared by Chris Barnatt (@thisisbarn) on Apr 7, 2014 at 12:33pm PDT #badrockoutfaces
My Public Apology to Commuters of Bridge Street
Dear Commuters of Bridge Street, I sincerely apologize for what you had to witness this morning. I feel an explanation is in order to help alleviate any concerns you may have.
Today I Learned – April 7/14
When a cat decides to cross the two-lane highway 50 feet in front of your car, it won’t even look at you. Also, my brakes work stupendously.
Moments or Materials?
When it comes to spending money, I’m either boiling hot or polar vortex cold. 90% of the time that cash is staying right where it is in my pocket, but when it comes time to actually use the money for something, is it better spent on a moment, or something material?
When Life Gives Babies Lemons…
…shoot it in slow motion, put it to the music of “In the Hall of the Mountain King” and enjoy!
Today I Learned – Baseball Edition – Apr 6/14
I can tolerate one or two attempts at The Wave. By the fourth time I will remain in my seat out of spite.
First World Problems – You’re Out or You’re Not?
As a man of simple function and pleasures, I usually go shopping for things when I need them. Every once in a while I’ll plan ahead and look to see if what I need is on sale anywhere. Once in a blue moon it actually is, so you can imagine the frustration when the only thing you’ve gone out for is sold…
Pop-Fly-Corn
It would’ve been cheaper to just buy a baseball, but if you don’t have a glove, or a hat, or a beer, or you’re not holding a baby to go for the one handed grab, using your tub of popcorn to catch a foul ball will do just fine. sports
Sarcastic Love Letter – Running Into the Wind
Check out Tadao Cern for his awesome “Blow Job” gallery that was used for the feature picture. sports
Today I Learned – April 4/14
Reheating pizza with a pizza stone is like taking nectar from the gods and adding sugar. And pepperoni.
OK Blue Jays…Let’s Play Ball.
Every Spring brings the feeling of newness. Rebirth, renewal, regeneration, and sadly, for the last 20 years, repetition for the Toronto Blue Jays. Every Spring, we buy in and give it another go. Every season, we get our hearts slowly stomped on. Will this year be any different?
Game of Thrones – Let’s Get Ready
For those that are unaware, Season 4 of GoT begins this Sunday on HBO, and this Monday on Pirate Bay. In preparation for the next few months of remembering 45 names and story lines at once, here are four wonderful catch up videos to get you ready for the Iron Throne. And yes, if you’re not caught up, spoilers abound following…
Selfie Portrait
In a day and age where we are inventing and creating so many new things, our human vocabulary is also expanding. Ringtone, tweet, phablet, live-stream, all words that were created because of new technology. Sometimes a word becomes so popular it’s used to describe all things that are similar, such as Kleenex (instead of tissue) or Q-Tip (instead of cotton…
Today I Learned – Jan 24/14
A bag of Oreos with one sleeve of cookies left fires the “I can eat all those at once” part of your brain while shutting off the “you feel shame” part at the same time. But only if you have milk.
The Little Things – Ocean Sink vs Workout Clothes
*This is the first in an anticipated series of “things he/she does that annoy her/him.” These stories could be used in any potential trial down the road. If you’re in a relationship you can immediately name one thing your partner does that has evolved from “I can tolerate that” to “are you serious? THIS still?!?!” Venting is a process that eliminates the…
Un-Belieber-ble
Typing the words “Justin Bieber legal issues” into Google yields over 30 million results. Spitting, fighting, Twitter pranks, mop bucket urination, vandalism, the alleged list goes on and on. This morning comes the breaking news that he’s been arrested for DUI and drag racing. Sadly my initial reaction was “GOOD.” Outside of the safety issues of those around him, why did…
Today I Learned – Jan 22/14
Waking up with a slightly sore throat with the humidfier rocking all night makes me wonder what my throat would feel like without it. I’m picturing a sandpaper tube filled with broken glass and gravel.
Toe-Nailed It
Anyone who’s been in a relationship knows there are a lot of crazy things you’ll do for love. One of them may include letting your girlfriend paint your toenails so she can get some educational practice. The only time that can be a problem is when she tries to refinish the coffee table at the same time.
Cold Weather Haiku
The cold has me trapped. Like a lobster in a trap. Now I want lobster.
Today I Learned – Jan 20/14
Spilt nail polish remover on a coffee table can focus the “clean this up immediately” part of your brain instantaneously.
For Fox Sake
*UPDATE* As of 2pm EST Bowman has apparent ACL and MCL injuries. That’s like saying the sky is blue or Richard Sherman can speak loudly. Everyone is familiar with the phrase “that’s enough.” We heard it most growing up as children while we were over-doing something. You can hear your parents tone and cadence in your head right now just thinking…
Today I Learned – Jan 17/14
Watching your neighbour’s garbage can lay in the middle of the street for the second week in a row makes you wonder why they don’t just leave it there through the rest of the week.
Toasting Your Glass
The history of toasting is varied and interesting, from literally putting bread in your wine to mellow the flavour to signalling to your guests that you haven’t poisoned their drink. There are also rules: who toasts first, when glasses can be refilled, what should be said, etc. Another rule that cannot be overlooked: be sure your vessel can withstand the…
Check Yourself Out
In the 20+ years the Internet has been around there’s been an exponential increase in the field of “do-it-yourself.” There are plenty of things we do ourselves that used to need someone else’s expertise to get the job done. But it’s not just the things you do around the house, it also comes to obtaining the things we need. When…
Today I Learned – Jan 13/14
The PCs want to create 1,000,000 jobs and the Liberals just threw $26+ million at a new hospital. (sniff…sniff…) What’s that I smell? That’s not a warm spell, it’s an election.
$2500 to Life
The words “dead at 45 years of age” seem wrong to write together. The first thought is “too young.” Sometimes when you hear “you can’t put a price on someone’s life” you may let your mind wander and think about a number…is there a number? How does 2500 sound? Too low? Because that’s all you may need to save someone’s…
Today I Learned – Jan 12/14
Having to smell pulled pork in the crock-pot for 7 hours doesn’t make it any less delicious when you finally eat it.
The 2014 Tina and Amy Show
At 8PM tonight on NBC we get to watch hundreds of people richer than us win awards that were decided by 93 members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. It’s a mashup of television and film, drama and comedy, and most importantly, Tina and Amy. That’s the reason I’ll be watching tonight, but some people like to pick the winners…
Today I Learned – Jan 11/14
It is possible for your clothes to become so wet it feels like you’re ripping a layer of skin of when you disrobe. That or I’m actually down a layer of skin.
Raining Man
Motivating yourself to do something when you wake up is hard. Even making coffee, the snooze alarm’s Kryptonite, can be difficult. When you have to get up for exercise it’s harder. When that exercise is outside in the rain, simply putting one foot on the bedroom floor is cause for celebration.
Olympic Overload
Not that I’m counting, but the Olympics are 28 days away. Technically, that’s the time remaining until the Opening Ceremonies. Competition actually starts on February 6th. I am one of those people who will cease contact with the outside world and ingest as much Olympic awesomeness as possible. And while it’s good to have choices, even I might have too much…
Today I Learned – Jan 10/14
A poorly manufactured face moisturizer can determine a woman’s mood for the remainder of the morning. #crusty
Today I Learned – Jan 9/14
Installing a new shower curtain is equivalent to trying to thread 12 needles with your arms over your head. Next time: tape.
Who’s Ground First?
When you have to meet up with someone it’s always good to know the area you’re going to. When you’re meeting up with someone at a hospital, it’s best to have it pretty much memorized. But what happens when the building itself make the meeting even more difficult?
Today I Learned – Jan 7/14
When you’re hungry while grocery shopping and you pick up a bag of chips, you already know you’re not going to have a grown up lunch.
Pipe Down
Anyone who has to get up in the morning and do things has a routine. Anyone who has a morning routine knows what it’s like when it’s somehow interrupted. But when the interruption isn’t limited to one area, all bets for sanity are off.
Today I Learned – Jan 6/14
It is ironic to have your car slide through the parking lot of the store you’re going to for the purpose of buying salt to rid your driveway of ice. But it’s not easy to put that into a song lyric, so Alanis left it out.
Feeling Wiped
You know what it’s like to have to do something once in a blue moon. Move the clocks ahead/back, change the batteries in the smoke detector, that kind of thing. When it’s something simple it’s nothing more than a quick fix. But when it’s something that involves more than two steps, sometimes your brain decides your synapses don’t need to…
