Category: Stories

When something happens that can’t be described in a simple picture, video or quote. Maybe all three.

Train-ing Day

Waiting for things is never fun.  Waiting for something when it’s completely avoidable is a different level of never fun.

Family Daze

A few years ago, the government decided that the break between New Year’s Day and whatever season Easter actually falls in was TOO LONG to go without a day off.  Hence…Family Day.  But do people actually DO things for it?

An Incatvenience

Sometimes we do things because we want to do them.  Other times we do them because we have to do them.  Every once in a while, we do things because they’re just the right thing to do.

The Nap Chair

It might be in your living room.  Maybe in your basement.  It could be in your garage, or the sunroom, or on the patio.  It may even be in your bedroom, feet away from your bed.  Wherever it is, there is no escaping its power.  A slide into its embrace, and you slip into a drooling, head twitching, fog induced coma.…

Thanksgetting

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful. For friends. For family. For health. It’s also a time to be thankful that an awesome festival arrives to give you thirty-eleventy ways to stuff your face.

Cell Mates

If I asked you to give me $120, and gave you around $2000 over the next two years to cover it off, you’d probably sign the deal right now, wouldn’t you?  For one cell company that offer wasn’t sweet enough, and it means in four more months, that offer could drop to $0.

Slot Hogs

It’s one thing when someone holds onto a slot machine and digs in with their greedy hands, it’s another when they vocalize their intentions.  It’s best when you reap what they’ve sown.

Bat Crasher

What began as a normal hot Summer’s night switched from pleasure to panic with the flick of a feather.  Or rather, a wing membrane.

Who Canada Beats Next – Facts About Slovakia

After handling the Danes a couple of nights ago, Canada looks to advance to the Gold Medal game with a win tonight over Slovakia.  Who is Slovakia?  Where is Slovakia?  Other related Slovakian questions?  Look no further as we explore the country standing between Canada and their first medal in three years and first title in six.

Who Canada Beats Next – Facts About Denmark

Some people are well traveled and have vast knowledge about the world around them.  Others, like me, know there’s a world outside their front door, but maybe haven’t explored it as much.  It’s for this second group that I present to you some facts about Denmark, the team that Canada should be taking care of later tonight at the World Juniors.  If…

Easy Resolutions

Every year as the champagne bubbles fizzle and the noise dies down, millions of people get down to the business of changing something about themselves.  Some are realistic.  Most are not.  The key to a successful resolution is making it stick.  For that purpose I have created a list of easily obtainable goals to reach and conquer for 2015!

Farmer’s Animal-nac

The Farmer’s Almanac has been around for 196 years.  Some people swear by it when it comes to predicting the weather.  I have another simpler, more direct method.  Just watch for the animals to go crazy.

Today I Learned – Sept 7/14

If you want something badly enough, you’ll drive to go get it.  Even if it means ordering food in person at the restaurant and waiting for it to be made so you can take it home.  In short, I love me some food.

30 Seconds of Awkward

Our 30 seconds begins innocently enough: waiting for an elevator at the Fallsview Casino to return me to my car. I stand aloof with a lighter wallet and a humbling Blackjack experience to pass the time.  Little did I know the short moment of social ineptitude that awaited.

Today I Learned – Sept 1/14

Working out on an elliptical only beats running when the humidex is over 35.  Or if you’re too lazy to make the walk in your shorts and t-shirt to the front door.

Fashion Foreword

I preface this post with the following statement: I am not a fashionista.  This should become clear in the next few minutes.

Gamble with your Etiquette

We’ve all heard no one likes a sore loser.  We’ve also heard that you should be a good winner as well.  When it comes to games some people can barely control themselves.  When it comes to games involving money…all bets are off.

World Turtle Day

Everything has a day.  May 23rd is World Turtle Day.  Does that mean we should stuff our faces with gooey chocolate goodness while learning about turtles?  I can take care of the second part, you’re on your own for the first.

Barn Escapes – Maldives Edition

Every once in a while, in between staring at my half full coffee cup and scraping half a cat’s worth of hair off my clothes, my mind wanders to a far off place where my worries dissolve into calm relaxation.  Here’s today’s moment of escape.

A Fairview of Soccer Golf

There are some changes happening in my old neck of the woods, and if you’re so inclined you could find yourself there, especially if your kicks go astray.

Password Insanity

There was a time when the only password you had to know was the one to get into the tree fort.  Sadly that time has passed us by.  The demands for more and more passwords with increasing complexity seems to rise every day. Yesterday I may have hit my tipping point.

Today I Learned – May 21/14

If you want to have ridiculous dreams, leftover Chinese food right before bed will work wonders on your crazy level. If your cats won’t leave you alone while you’re eating, find a bird video on YouTube and eat distraction free. When something comes in the mail a week before it’s “supposed” to, happiness ensues.  Unless it’s a bill. When buying…

276,915 Minutes

What’s something you love?  Something you enjoy doing, or something you can’t wait to take another bite of.  Maybe it’s someone you love, who you can’t wait to see again.  Imagine being told you can’t have that anymore.

themasters

Stop Everything – Sports Are On

I love sports.  This comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me, or anyone who’s clicked around the site at all.  There are however a few sporting events that take more precedence than others.  Competitions that cause everything else in life to take a back seat, or at best a side car to something that at the end of…

Roll of Money

Moments or Materials?

When it comes to spending money, I’m either boiling hot or polar vortex cold.  90% of the time that cash is staying right where it is in my pocket, but when it comes time to actually use the money for something, is it better spent on a moment, or something material?

First World Problems

First World Problems – You’re Out or You’re Not?

As a man of simple function and pleasures, I usually go shopping for things when I need them.  Every once in a while I’ll plan ahead and look to see if what I need is on sale anywhere.  Once in a blue moon it actually is, so you can imagine the frustration when the only thing you’ve gone out for is sold…

Blue Jays

OK Blue Jays…Let’s Play Ball.

Every Spring brings the feeling of newness.  Rebirth, renewal, regeneration, and sadly, for the last 20 years, repetition for the Toronto Blue Jays.  Every Spring, we buy in and give it another go. Every season, we get our hearts slowly stomped on. Will this year be any different?

Selfie Portrait

Selfie Portrait

In a day and age where we are inventing and creating so many new things, our human vocabulary is also expanding.  Ringtone, tweet, phablet, live-stream, all words that were created because of new technology.  Sometimes a word becomes so popular it’s used to describe all things that are similar, such as Kleenex (instead of tissue) or Q-Tip (instead of cotton…

Today I Learned – Jan 24/14

A bag of Oreos with one sleeve of cookies left fires the “I can eat all those at once” part of your brain while shutting off the “you feel shame” part at the same time.  But only if you have milk.

The Little Things - Ocean Sink vs Workout Clothes

The Little Things – Ocean Sink vs Workout Clothes

*This is the first in an anticipated series of “things he/she does that annoy her/him.” These stories could be used in any potential trial down the road. If you’re in a relationship you can immediately name one thing your partner does that has evolved from “I can tolerate that” to “are you serious? THIS still?!?!”  Venting is a process that eliminates the…

Un-Belieber-Ble

Un-Belieber-ble

Typing the words “Justin Bieber legal issues” into Google yields over 30 million results.  Spitting, fighting, Twitter pranks, mop bucket urination, vandalism, the alleged list goes on and on.  This morning comes the breaking news that he’s been arrested for DUI and drag racing.  Sadly my initial reaction was “GOOD.”  Outside of the safety issues of those around him, why did…