Easy Resolutions

Every year as the champagne bubbles fizzle and the noise dies down, millions of people get down to the business of changing something about themselves.  Some are realistic.  Most are not.  The key to a successful resolution is making it stick.  For that purpose I have created a list of easily obtainable goals to reach and conquer for 2015!

readingpipe1. Read something.  Most people say “read more” or “read this many books.” What, you think you’re gonna have time to read a book a month without life getting in the way?  How about this: Just tell yourself you’re going to read something at least once a day.  Every time you remember that resolution while you’re reading anything, say the ingredients on a cereal box, or this sentence right here, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment.  Nicely done book worm!

2. Weigh enough.  Weight Watchers blows their advertising budget in the 10 days surrounding the New Year, because everyone starts thinking “THIS is the year I’ll get back to my senior year fighting weight!”  Maybe you will, and that’s great, but you also have to be realistic.  It won’t happen overnight, and a specific number, although sometimes motivating, can also be a giant hammer on your brain when you reach for another handful of cashews.  The key here is to weigh enough.  Not too much, not too little.  On hungry days, enough will be enough!

3. Travel moreish.  You know what’s not realistic?  Thinking that because you’ve decided on January 1st that you’re going to go to Ireland that your life budget will magically agree to an increase in surplus cash flow.  You know what is realistic?  Walking to the park and then surfing Google Maps on Street View instead.  The only bump in cost could be your roaming data charges, in which case, if you’re roaming you’re travelling.  High five!

cellphonesocial4. Think about hanging out with friends more.  Everyone wants to be more social.  Everyone wishes they had more free time they didn’t want to spend by greedily lapping up as much precious extra sleep or peace and quiet for themselves.  Everyone wishes they saw their friends more.  Sadly, in 2015, the length of a day is still 24 hours.  Simply spend more of that dwindling free time you have thinking about hanging out with friends more.  Because in the end, it’s the thought that counts!

5. Be calmish. Some people feel like they need to chill out a little more and let some things slide.  Screw that!  If something pisses you off there has to be a reason, right?  Here’s what you can do: just acknowledge whatever ridiculous life decision someone else has made to ruin your day, or the fact that the universe is random and will sometimes pile on for no good reason, have your moment of un-zen, and then get on with doin’ what you do.  Even choking out the phrase “This has displeased me!” should be enough to move forward from whatever idiocy you are putting up with at the time.  It will also warn those around you of your current mental state, hopefully creating a “no more stupid shit” bubble of protection around you.  Look at you!  Being calmish!

ostrichheadpillow6. Nap more. Speaking of sleep, just do it more!  Have a job?  Bring an ostrich head pillow!  Have kids?  Cap of NyQuil and it’s family nap time!  Have chores to do?  This isn’t live TV, they’ll be there when you wake up!  Heck, stop reading this and take a quick fiver right now!  Congrats on maintaining your resolution!

7. Mean to call your family more.  Simliar to the “think about hanging out with friends more” theory, every time you put down your phone to charge it for the night, or rest your Instagram double-tapping thumbs, mentally think “I should call my family more” as you release yourself from the handheld technology grip of constantly being connected to anyone and anything but the people closest to you!  Grandma will appreciate the warming brain waves of sort of remembering to stay in touch!

8. Be sort of more creative.  See that thing on Pinterest?  How about that amazing recipe on Facebook?  Maybe a cool collage project hanging at your friends house?  Pretty sweet eh?  For guaranteed life improvement, only pick new ideas and tasks that have three steps or less.  When you learned to walk, did you start by flipping over on your stomach or by running up Kilimanjaro?  Also, look for projects where the third step says “Done!” or “Enjoy your new masterpiece!”  You’ll be the talk of your “read something” club!

italianlaptop9. “Learn” a new language. This one’s easy: Step 1 – Go to Google Translate.  Step 2 – Type in the words you need to say to someone who doesn’t know English.  Step 3 – Enjoy your new masterpiece!

10. Understand that life happens.  The key to your entire year.  Everyone wants to be better.  EVERYONE wants to have goals and experience new things and live their life to the fullest.  As we all know by now, life happens.  Look back to this time last year.  Where were you?  What were you doing?  Now think about where you are today.  How many of the things that happened in between did you actually have control over?  We can prepare, plan, co-ordinate, set up, we can do as many things as we think possible to be ready for whatever the next thing in life will be.  But that’s all we can do.

Know your path.  Walk it.  Head and elbows up, eyes open, and be ready.  Pick a spot on the horizon that ends with where you want to be, and know that things are going to happen along the way that might get your there faster, or slower, or change where you’re looking altogether.  My only REAL advice?  Live in the moment.  Right now is the only time you actually have control over.  If you’re not enjoying what you’re doing or heading the right direction, choose right now to make that difference.  It applies to everything you choose to do in your life.


Step 1 – Are you where you want to be in life?  Step 2 – Keep going or make the change so you are.  Step 3 – Enjoy your new masterpiece.



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