Toasting Your Glass

The history of toasting is varied and interesting, from literally putting bread in your wine to mellow the flavour to signalling to your guests that you haven’t poisoned their drink.  There are also rules: who toasts first, when glasses can be refilled, what should be said, etc.  Another rule that cannot be overlooked: be sure your vessel can withstand the strength of the clink.

My girlfriend and I headed out for the rare and illusive “Mid-week date night” last night at the newly renovated Doc Magilligan’s on Lundy’s Lane in Niagara Falls.  What used to be the Wrinkle Ranch is now an Irish pub that was built in it’s entirety in Ireland, shipped over here and reconstructed in place.  It looks fabulous, the music was fantastic, the food delicious and the drinks plentiful.  We’ll be going back as soon as we can.  We might however show up in stain resistant clothing.

What does that prophetic sign say?

We settled in at a tall table close to the fireplace as our server took our drink orders and we soaked in the atmosphere.  It was a night of celebration:  my girlfriend had finished her second week of schooling and had just been hired on at a new job.  Our server Monique arrived with our poisons of choice: a rye and coke for myself and a tall pint of Smithwick’s for the lady.  For those unfamiliar with Smithwick’s, it’s a 314 year old creamy red ale that sounds as thick as it does delicious.  As Monique left the table my girlfriend turned to me and cemented her fate…

“A toast…” she began, and I raised my glass to eye level with hers…

“…here’s to two weeks of school gone by and a new job today, and bigger and better things in the future.”

With that our glasses came together in the traditional “clink”, nothing too intense, and as etiquette dictates an immediate consumption of our beverages followed.  At least, it did for me

As I pulled a mouthful from my vessel I glanced down at the table towards my menu, since we were going to be eating as well.  That’s when I saw it in the corner of my eye: a wave of liquid cascading across the table down the edges and towards my arm.  I looked up at my girlfriend as a look of stunned silence and shock spread across her entire body.  I glanced back at the table and saw what looked like a coaster sitting where her glass had just been, now completely submerged in red ale.  I stared back at the now empty glass in her hand and quickly realized what had happened…

Cheers, not CHARGE...

…the  bottom literally fell out of her glass, taking the entire pint down with it.  And my girlfriend…was…soaked.

Monique fired around the corner and stopped stunned in her tracks.  “Oh my god, what happened?” she stammered as my girlfriend pawed at the napkins on the table.

The bottom of my glass fell out, and…

That was all Monique needed to hear.  Apologies exploded around us like flak, multiple staff buzzed around with rags and towels to soak up the sudsy tsunami.  My girlfriend received a glass of soda water and was off to the restroom for emergency laundry detail.  I gave her my sweater to come back in, as she had worn a mere tank top underneath that had also felt the wrath of the bottomless pint.  Thankfully I had worn a brand new white t-shirt underneath, as I sometimes go to the older slightly off-white shirts when layering.  No yellow birds around my arms last night.

After she left our food arrived, and Monique was quick to offer to keep it warm in the kitchen until we were ready.  The manager Leo was by shortly thereafter and offered a round on the house as compensation, also apologizing profusely.  About 20 minutes after the incident my girlfriend returned triumphant from the washroom, pants dried, sweater unstained and damp, and wearing a slightly misshapen and over-sized sweater (and she still looked amazing, I doubt such a thing if we switched sweaters the other way.)  Our food was retrieved, our drinks topped up, and the remainder of the evening commenced, after an immediate re-toast.

Despite the drenching the rest of the night continued pleasantly and incident free.  Seeing as nothing was ruined and a story was gained, we’ll take it as a learning experience: You can still have a good night even when the bottom drops out.  Literally.  relationship relationships



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