At 8PM tonight on NBC we get to watch hundreds of people richer than us win awards that were decided by 93 members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. It’s a mashup of television and film, drama and comedy, and most importantly, Tina and Amy. That’s the reason I’ll be watching tonight, but some people like to pick the winners (who become front runners for the Academy Awards next month) so why not take a stab at it? I know, don’t worry, I care about my picks as much as you care about my picks.
Best Motion Picture – Drama: Gravity. It’s the only one I’ve seen. I’m sure the others are great (12 Years a Slave, Captain Phillips, Philomena, Rush) but seriously, watch Gravity in 3D and tell me anything else is going to fry your cerebellum the same way.
Best Actress Motion Picture – Drama: Judi Dench or Emma Thompson. Cate and Kate (Blanchette and Rocknroll-Winslet) and Gravity’s Sandra Bullock are also here, but Judi and Emma look to be favourites here. One has Dame in her name and the other brought us Mary Poppins. Edge to the Dame.
Best Actor Motion Picture – Drama: Chiwetel Ojiofor. Elba, Hanks, skinny McConaughy and Redford surely turned in wonderful performances, but 12 Years a Slave is going to win a lot of awards. You can’t think that if Ojiofor isn’t getting one of them.
Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy: American Hustle. 2 hours and 12+ minutes that fly by, and that should take care of Her, Nebraska, Wolf of Wall Street and Inside Llewyn Davis. Never mind the fact we get to watch Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence in 70s get-ups. That should win it’s own award.
Best Actress Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy: Amy Adams. Tons of greatness here (Delphy, Gerwig, Louis-Dreyfus, Streep) but if Adams wins we get to see shots of her speech and reaction shots from Lawrence. Win-win.
Best Actor Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy: Joaquin Phoenix. Just because I want to see what the hell he would say. Bale, Dern, DiCaprio and Issac round out this category. DiCaprio might sneak one out here, but he’s really due an Oscar.
Best Animated Film: Who cares. Fine, Frozen. I’ve got a 1/3 shot.
Best TV Series – Drama: Breaking Bad. End of story.
Best Actress TV Series – Drama: Kerry Washington. Every time I check my Twitter feed there are 9038 reactions to Scandal. The lead has to have something to do with that.
Best Actor TV Series – Drama: Bryan Cranston. Another win for Tim Whatley.
Best TV Series – Comedy: Parks and Recreation. Good for Brooklyn Nine-Nine for getting a nod here, Girls is done, Modern Family is a safety and there is no God if Big Bang wins.
Best Actress TV Series – Comedy: Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Which is too bad, because I’d love to see Amy shove her award in Tina’s face for the rest of the night.
Best Actor TV Series – Comedy: Michael J Fox. Tina and Amy can bring back the Taylor Swift jokes.
There are other categories and people will win them, and I’m sure I’ll try to watch most of the show and tune out halfway through for something else, like sleep, but these two ladies are the only reason I’m even remotely looking forward to at least the first 15 minutes.