- Installing a new shower curtain is equivalent to trying to thread 12 needles with your arms over your head. Next time: tape.
- It is possible to skip your morning coffee and not die. Just because something is possible doesn’t mean it’s recommended.
- Strange how your neck will tell you it’s sore after you’ve slept on your pillow at night, but not warn you during the sleeping process. Wait, not strange, annoying.
- Surprise sushi is delicious sushi. So long as you’re not expecting cooked sushi.
- Kids with low self-esteem may actually be hindered by over the top praising. Perhaps over the top sarcasm instead?
- Eating two helpings of lasagna is delicious. It is also comatose nap inducing.
- I don’t know why, but I want to jump in and play while the frostbite overcomes me: