- When your girlfriend tells you to go play a slot machine, 99/100 times you will lose your money. 1/100 times you will win. Sea Goddess is my new friend.
- Accidentally spraying the toilet seat with Scrubbing Bubbles means you now have to clean the entire seat, otherwise you’re left with gleaming white streaks down what you thought was a clean seat.
- Sometimes $0.22 chicken wings are a great deal. Most times there’s a reason they’re $0.22.
- When killing a bee that won’t leave you alone, it is not recommended to crush it under a beer glass on a soft seat. The bee will rise up slightly more agitated.
- Until today, I would’ve thought Moab was something you wrote if you sneezed while typing, not a place in Utah where your vacationing mother would Skype you from.
- In honour of hitting a $187 bonus on a penny machine, here that video of the guy who almost died, was in a coma, woke up, won a car on a scratch ticket, was asked by a news crew to “re-create” the moment, bought another ticket…and…