- Sometimes the best place to lay down is on top of someone. That’s fine, so long as you don’t shed all over them.
- I only miss hockey when I think about it. Sadly, it is happening slightly more frequently.
- Sometimes looking at nice vacation places for long enough will satisfy the need to get the hell out of wherever you are. I have yet to have that happen.
- Getting your last payment notice for your car is a weird feeling. I’m sure it’ll feel just as weird next month when it doesn’t happen, but probably only for about 1 second. Then it’ll just feel money.
- Working ahead pays off 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time something changes and you end up doing 10% more work. That’s how you give 110%.
- People should not be allowed to have double-ovens without at least 3 children, 1 hosted dinner party a month, or 3 bake sale contributions a year. WHO NEEDS TO COOK THAT MUCH AT THE SAME TIME?!?!
- I would’ve cut off 37 fingers within the first 10 seconds of this video. And now I want an apple: