- A paper cut in your knuckle crease can be absolutely nothing for half the day, and absolutely everything for the other half. (Side note: I was looking for a picture of finger cut pain, and after un-collapsing I decided on a picture of a puppy instead. You’re welcome.)
- A nap is as long as it is. Saying “I’ll only nap until _________” just secures the fact you’ll sleep for at least twice that long, or not feel good when you wake up.
- Sometimes when you order two slices of pizza because one “won’t fill you,” you need to make sure the pizza place doesn’t consider two slices one slice. But HEY, lunch for tomorrow!
- Whenever I watch anything shot in Australia (in this case, catching a glimpse of International House Hunters) I always want to see someone flush the toilet. Thank you The Simpsons.
- In the last 24 hours, The A’s forced a decisive game 5 with a three run come-from-behind 9th that ended with a walk-off single, The Nats forced a decisive game 5 with a walk-off home run, and The Evil Empire moved a game away from the ALCS with a 40 year-old pinch hitting for the most expensive player EVER hitting a bottom of the ninth game tying home run FOLLOWED BY A GAME WINNING HOME RUN IN THE 12TH. That sound you heard was playoff baseball’s equivalent to dropping the mic and walking away.