Something to Mention In Passing

We all obey the rules of the road. All the time.  Right?  Ok, we do our best, and we’re safe all the time.  Right?  Moving on, this one’s about driving, and one little grating happen-stance that we’ve all had to deal with at one point or another…

You’re driving in the right hand lane on the highway, like everyone is supposed to.  But you come up to someone who’s driving slowly (or correctly, more slowly than YOU are) so you look, signal, look again, and around you go.  When you’re past you look back, signal, look again, and back to the right lane.  That’s how it should happen.

Of course, there’s the chance that you’re not the only one going around this slow car.  There may be a car in front of you doing the exact same thing.  So you have to stay behind them while they go around, then you get your chance to get by, and you’re good to go.

Of those chances, there’s a more specific, and more frustrating subset.  You’re going faster than both the slow car you and your passing friend are going around, AND you’re faster than the passing friend, so when you’ve passed the first car, they’re going to move over and you’ll pass them and move onwards in your journey.  It happens.  Of course, that means that this also happens: (You are, of course, the red car.)

Your best friend and favourite driver has decided to play yo-yo with the car in the slow lane. The car is doing 100. Your friend does 110. Then 95. Then 105. Then 98. Then 99. Then 99. Then 101. Then 102. Then HITS THE BRAKES FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL. Then goes 115. And ALMOST gets past the slow car…back to 95.

Why?  Why do these people do this?  Do they not care about the other cars on the road?  Are they trying to carry on a game of Charades with the driver of the slower car?  Perhaps they have a blood pressure disorder that causes their pedal foot to swell and contract at random times.  Maybe their cruise control is handled by the captain of the Costa Concordia.  I have a different idea.  I really think that the people who just CAN’T GET PAST the slow car think there is LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE ON THE ROAD.  That has to be the answer.  They can’t see the car they’re passing.  They can’t see the car behind them.  They can’t see any cars in front of them.  In fact, it probably looks like this:

When in actuality it looks like this:

It is the only explanation that works for me. I REFUSE to believe that someone could be that out of touch with the fact there are other 25 ton metal death rollers within 100 feet of them.  So if this is the case, and you may have been guilty of this “floating foot” issue on your gas pedal, I suggest two things:  First, use the cruise control.  Set it and forget it.  At least then a consistent speed can be gauged, reacted to, and dealt with accordingly by the people driving around you.  Second?  You see this thing?

It’s so you can see what’s going on around you.  I suggest you use it.  Or the next person to pass you might look like they’re doing Charades, but you’ll never understand why they’re only using one finger.  Drive safe out there, and remember: everyone else is an idiot.

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