- I can get surprisingly into a game that doesn’t involve my team if it involves a team I’d like to see disappear from the face of the earth.
- You can never have too much chili. Read that again to let the reality sink in. It’ll give time for your stomach to make a little more room for chili.
- When a dog jumps up on your lap, 9/10 times the first stabbing paw will land directly on your crotch.
- If someone waiting to turn into the parking lot waves you into traffic, they’re only concerned with the direction they’re heading. Make sure you still check the direction you’re actually heading in first.
- When you’re going for the tying field goal in the dying seconds of regulation, and you see your kicker running on the field with 10 seconds on the play clock, and you still have a time out, USE IT.