January 2nd, 2012

I will start by wishing you a belated Happy New Year. Happy New Year! There, that’s done. I find it amazing how quickly we can go from such a high level of excitement and happiness to feeling like we’re facing 49 months of winter purgatory less than 48 hours later. To sum up the transition from party to pity, I’ve put together a fictional yet generally accurate timeline from the 12 hours before the countdown to 7am this morning.  If any of this rings true to you, you’re not alone.

December 31st, 2011
12pm: “Alright!  Getting my stuff together, outfit’s ready, pre-game beverages chillin’…this is going to be great!”

4pm: “Text messages and phone calls made!  I’m getting ready and we’re heading out to ring in the New Year!  This is going to be AWESOME!!!” (possibly begin pre-game consumption…)

7:30pm: “Time to get this started!  Friends are here!  Enjoying some pre-party beverages!  Lots of pictures!  Let’s get out of here!” (squish into somewhat crammed ride to party) “WOOO!!!  NEW YEAR’S EVE!!!”

8pm: “ALRIGHT!!!!  We’re HERE!!!  Let’s take tons of pictures!!!  Oh, “that person’s” here?  Aw who cares, it’s New Year’s Eve!!!  There are my friends!  There’s my drink!  Nothing in the future matters at all!”

11pm: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  Just an hour to go!!!!  WHERE’S MY DRINK?!?  There it is…right by my friends!  This is awesome!  There’s “that person” again!” (waves at “that person”)  “WOOOOOOOO!!!”

11:55pm: “JUST FIVE MINUTES!!!  WHERE’S THE CHAMPAGNE?!?!  WHO’S GOT IT?!?!  WHERE’S MY KISS PARTNER?!?!”

11:59:00pm: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” (staring at countdown screen….)

11:59:50pm: “TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE…”

January 1st, 2012
12:00:00am: “…HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!” (hugs “that person”)  “WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!”

12:01am: Woooooo!!!  Wooooo!  (look around) Wooo!  Wooo.  (silence for a few seconds, smile at no one in particular…)

12:02am: “………….now what?”

12:03am-1:30am: (Random moments of frivolity and muted celebration…possible thoughts of resolution fulfillment…)

1:30am-3:30am: Try to flag down a taxi.  “That person” steals one right in front of you. End up walking halfway home.

3:30am-3:30pm: Crash on first object resembling a bed/couch/blanket/clothes-pile-on-floor, sleep as if required to do so by law.

3:31pm: Wake up with that taste in your mouth that is thick, gritty, warm and essentially the exact opposite of what your mouth should taste like.  Gather recovery items (Ibuprofen, hydrating liquids, whatever food comes in a box or bag), decide to find one place to hunker down in until “actual sleeptime.”

9:30pm: Peel yourself off the couch, pour yourself into bed, remember to set the alarm for the morning.

January 2nd, 2012
1:45 am: Alarm goes off after setting it for 1:45 instead of 6:45.  Fight through deepest sleep haze ever to shut it off, squint for 3 minutes trying to find the world’s smallest buttons to set the time correctly, immediately fall back to sleep.

6:45am: SNOOZE BUTTON.

6:54am: SNOOZE BUTTON.

7:03am: “I’m up, I’m up.”

7:03:03am: “Uuuuugggggghhhhhh……” (looks at calendar) “Just 79 days until Spring…”

That is a general recap of what you may have gone through over the last 48 hours or so.  Remember, you’re not the only one who feels this way at work today, and although you are still technically at work, hardly anyone there with you is firing on all cylinders.  You can probably get away with checking the pictures from the weekend on Facebook a few times and putting your work into different piles through today.  It’s like a bonus recovery day with the appearance of  a work day.  I promise we’ll get through it together.  Now, let’s get back to forgetting that New Year’s Resolution we made…

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